Don’t look now, but somebody could be watching you

Well, this here is a new year, folks. And 2005, like every year before needs a good conspiracy. Personally, I really don’t give a rat’s behind about whether or not Lee Harvey Oswald acted by himself or with the mob or the CIA or the Russkies when he killed President Kennedy in 1963. Or, for the matter, if Jack Ruby was or wasn’t hired by somebody to erase Oswald to keep him from talking.
Secret handshakes?
Ruling elite?
Council on Foreign Relations?
New World Order?
I don’t care if Barry Goldwater said, ‘The Trilateralist Commission is international ? [and]? is intended to be the vehicle for multinational consolidation of the commercial and banking interests by seizing control of the political government of the United States. The Trilateralist Commission represents a skillful, coordinated effort to seize control and consolidate the four centers of power — political, monetary, intellectual and ecclesiastical.?
I put little credence into the theory that President Bush and his Jewish friends knew in advance whacked-out zealots would fly airliners into buildings on Sept. 11, 2001. And, I have absolutely zero tolerance/patience for those who subscribe to the ‘vast right-wing conspiracy? theory.
No, this is bigger than Hillary’s rant.
I’m worried about something much more sinister. Something that touches the lives of millions of Americans of every age, ethnicity and religion. Something so subtle in its evil plan that most mere mortals won’t realize what has happened until it is too late.
The other day, I dipped my fingers into the communal dish of M&Ms and discovered a startling revelation . . . the blues are taking over. Soon there will be no green M&Ms . . . and you know what that means. I don’t know what it means. I am just an observer. All I am saying is I have seen with my own eyes the gradual, from the bottom of the bag to the top, rise of the blue. It’s not my job to know what it means, just to report.
But it has to mean something or it wouldn’t be a conspiracy, now would it?
‘Officially? the folks at the M&M compound say every container of M&M candies is made of 30 percent brown M&Ms, 20 percent each of yellows and reds, and 10 percent each of orange, green and blue.
Right (wink, wink) . . . and now they want us to believe it was all a coincidence after nearly 50 years of proud service to the public, tan M&Ms were replaced by blues because tans just wanted to ‘retire? and live out the rest of their lives in seclusion, somewhere in the hills of Tennessee.
Yep, sure . . . I don’t believe anybody will ever see a tan M&M again. Do the words ‘Jimmy? and ‘Hoffa? ring any bells?
It’s only been ten short years.
The blues ousted tans in 1995 and it’s becoming pretty darn clear their goal is world domination. There is no way, no how that blues only represent 10 percent of the total M&M population. It is a lie.
Why would they lie?
They don’t want us to know the truth, that’s why. We couldn’t handle the truth. It is only a matter of time, maybe not in my lifetime, maybe not in yours– but in somebody’s we will all be slaves to the blues. There will be no greens. There will be no browns, no reds, oranges, no yellows. And then there was one. Only blue.
Oh the horror! I can’t handle the truth . . .
Speaking of the truth.
The other night while the television watched me, I think I woke to see some long-haired, long-bearded researcher wearing one of those harmonica hats Jewish guys wear. This Jewish researcher guy and his underlings say there is a secret Bible Code. And that by cracking the code, they say the Bible predicted things like airplanes crashing into skyscrapers — that the Bible was full of hidden messages.
Can this be true?
I always thought the Bible’s message was pretty simple and upfront. Don’t steal, don’t kill, harm or take advantage of anybody else — even if they want you to. Give of yourself, versus taking from others. Turn the other cheek and all that jazz.
Could it be we have been misled for all these years? I don’t know and I am not going there . . .I can’t take one more conspiracy theory. Only one per year, please. Blue M&Ms have me worried enough. I guess there is something to the old saying, ‘None are so blind as they who refuse to see.?
By the way, if I die suddenly and/or suspiciously, check for traces of blue candy coating.
E-mail Rush — only if you aren’t paranoid some secret governmental agency is not tracking any of your messages nor monitoring Rush’s.