The other night, as the 11 o’clock news watched me, I slipped back and forth into the foggy world between sleep and entering a coma. Despite my comatose state, the anvil, hammer and other tool-like bones inside my ear trembled and made sound patterns that imprinted onto my brain.
?—– skeletal remains — —– woman — found — last seen —— —– years before —– electricity still on — natural causes — —– last calendar —- 1999 —-?
The next morning when I emerged from the comatose state I had experienced, I had a strange thought: Did I dream of some lady dying in her home 8 years ago, only to be found a yesterday — and why am I dreaming of that?
Answer: It wasn’t a dream and well, yes, a lady did die.
Hartford (CT) Courant reporter Brittany Dorn reported on June 9: Residents of Lake Shore Drive said they often wondered what happened to Ann M. Simmeck, whom they hadn’t seen in more than five years.
They found out Thursday, when about 15 state troopers called to search the unkempt, split-level ranch found the skeletal remains of an elderly female who had died years earlier.
An autopsy performed Friday at the state medical examiner’s office in Farmington showed that Simmeck apparently died of natural causes, though the date of her death is pending further study.
The last time neighbors saw anyone on the property was almost two years ago, when they said Simmeck’s estranged husband, John Simmeck, came to mow the lawn and take care of the yard around the property. They said that he never went into the house and didn’t own keys to it, but felt obligated to ‘take care of the place.
Weeds are growing in the rain gutters along the roof of the house, which is surrounded by two-foot high grass. Trash sits in a pile in front of the garage door and two signs, posted on the front and back door read: ‘Posted: No Trespassing For Any Reason If You Value Life, Leave Immediately 24-hour Video Security.?
‘The last time I physically saw her was 1998, 1999,? said Mary Carlson, who has lived next door to the Simmeck property since 1997. She said that more than five years ago she told state police about a rancid smell coming from the house, but that apparently no investigation occurred.
The neighbors said investigators told them that calendars found in the house were dated no more recently than 1999. They said that meat dated from the same time period was in the freezer and that the utilities, at least the fridge, were still up and running . . . According to neighbors, one of Simmeck’s sons was worried about her and called police . . .
Nicely reported, Brittany. But, I have some more questions (albeit, grossly inappropriate questions) for your reporterness to answer.
Hadn’t anyone of her sons called to talk to her, oh, I don’t know, say at least on one of the last six Mother’s Days?
Was Ann well liked?
What was Ann wearing when they found her — a little old-lady flower dress?
Was Ann watching the TV when she died? If so, what show was on when the cops found her?
Did they find her laying peacefully in her bed?
Did she have a pet cat and if so, were its remains also found?
What about utilities and property taxes — can folks in Connecticut go five, six, seven years without paying and still avoid shutoffs and state revenuers collecting? (And, the follow up: If this is true, is Connecticut accepting residency applications, because there are a lot of folks in Michigan who like to apply.)
Lastly: Was it her Social Security pension making the payments for electricity — and if so, does her estate have to pay that back to the federal government?
My very own wife Jennie said she’d like to go out that way, but with the remains of her loyal Golden Retreiver by her side, and the remains of her 20 cats there, too. It would be memorable (if not for her then at least her neighbors) and funny. I reminded Jen she would need to make some prearrangements with the bank to have automatic withdrawals to pay for taxes and utilities — or move to Connecticut.
Me, I don’t know how I’d like to check out. Well, that’s not true. I don’t want to become a Soilent Green Cracker. I want to die painless and peaceful-like. Then, for the funeral wrap my body in oil-soaked rags, set me afloat in a wooden fishing boat on Walters Lake in Independence Township. Shoot flaming arrows in my general direction and offer up a toast as I make my way to Vahalla.
Bagpipes optional.