The average life expectancy is 47 in Ethiopia due to devastatingly high levels of poverty, famine, and diseases including HIV/AIDS. As a result, there are 4.5 million orphans in the African nation.
That number decreased by two and Brandon Schools Curriculum Director Joanna McKinney and her husband, Benjamin, gained a family with the adoptions of their sons, Mikias, 2, and Taye, who celebrated his first birthday Thursday.
‘There are lots of ways to build a family, this is the way we built ours,? said Joanna. ‘If anything, they’ve added just as much to our family as we’ve added to theirs.?
The McKinneys, Oxford residents, have been married for nine years and always knew they wanted to adopt. There have been adoptions in both of their families, including Benjamin’s brother, adopted from Korea. In 2005, Joanna and Benjamin began looking for agencies with a philosophy they agreed with. They wanted to find one in which the agency was first and foremost an advocate for the children, and they wanted to adopt internationally.
‘With international adoption, there are more children with a greater need,? said Joanna, noting they were drawn to Ethiopia specifically because of the challenges children there face. ‘We were really open to a multi-cultural family, so it seemed like a good fit.?
The couple submitted an application to Adoption Associates, Inc. (in Farmington Hills and Jenison), and then began an 11-month process that began with a home study, proceeded to being matched with a child, then a wait for the Ethiopian government to approve them. With Mikias, they received an e-mail with his picture and information when he was 4-months-old.
‘It’s the weirdest thing? with the click of a button, here comes your child,? Joanna said. ‘It’s crazy from that standpoint. The waiting is really hard.?
In June 2007, ten weeks after seeing Mikias for the first time, when the court dates and government had been approved, Joanna and Benjamin traveled 7,400 miles to get their first child. The couple had traveled overseas before? to Europe and Australia, but this time was very different. The 19-hour flight from Washington, D.C. to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia’s capital, was brutal. When they arrived, they were immediately the minority. They stood out in looks, language, and behavior. The environment was also strange to the Americans. McKinney describes it as dusty, busy, chaotic, no rhyme or reason to traffic and people walking down streets next to cows.
They left the city and traveled into the countryside and got a larger glimpse of Ethiopia, where natives live a simplistic life and appeared very happy. They saw the village where Mikias was born 6-and-a-half months before, and then it was time to go to the orphanage. A caretaker brought him out in an outfit his parents had sent ahead of time. As Joanna McKinney, crying, took her smiling son into her arms and held him, she said she felt an immediate connection.
‘You’re thankful that he’s a part of your life and you’re part of his,? she said. ‘It’s a moment I won’t forget.?
While Taye was adopted from the same country, the process was more stressful. They were matched with him when he was just 8-weeks-old, but the wait to bring him home was longer and made to feel nearly unbearable by the knowledge that there was a formula shortage and their son was not getting the nutrition he needed. They were finally approved to travel to Ethiopia in April to get Taye when he was 6-and-a-half-months-old. With them, they took more than 500 pounds of formula to leave at the orphanage. Taye was at a different orphanage than Mikias, and Joanna and Benjamin found their son in his crib, sleeping amongst multiple cribmates.
‘It doesn’t seem real while it’s happening,? said Joanna. ‘It’s utterly amazing. I feel blessed to have two positive experiences and a strong connection to that country.?
Joanna and Benjamin chose their sons? Ethiopian names and kept their originally given names, Henock and Sintayehu, as their middle names. The couple is also celebrating Ethiopian holidays with their sons, will eat Ethiopian food, and have Ethiopian clothes for them, too. They also are keeping in touch with other Michigan families who have adopted Ethiopian children.
‘We want to keep them involved in their culture, as well as help them find who they are as Ethiopian-Americans,? said Joanna.
The boys both had an adjustment period at home and even as infants, they recognized changes in their new American home. Joanna recalls how the hairdryer, television and garage door opening frightened them into crying, as they had never heard these noises in their native country.
Over time, Joanna and Benjamin felt their sons? connection to them grow.
‘At first, they weren’t comforted every time I held them when they cried, but then they realize you won’t leave them and it’s nice to pay witness to that,? said Joanna.
The boys are both on schedule in their development. Taye is cruising around furniture and Mikias, says Joanna, ‘will not be quiet.?
‘We feel so fortunate that they are with us,? Joanna said. ‘It’s the best experience of my life? there is nothing like having a family.?
The jury is still out on whether they will adopt more children, as she notes the two they have are keeping them very busy, but someday, the McKinneys will travel back to Ethiopia to show their sons where they came from.
‘I just want them to be global,? Joanna said. ‘I want them to know they have two homes. There is no place on this earth they couldn’t call home. We were over 7,400 miles away from each other, and if we can be a family, what does that say about the rest of us? Because we were willing to open our minds a little, the return is greater than we could have imagined.?