On the battlefield, surrounded by death and destruction every day, soldiers are expected to be brave, do their duty and trust their comrades-in-arms.
But when the shooting stops and they return home to civilian life, many of them face new battles for which they’ve received no training.
That’s where Rick Donovan comes in.
The 39-year-old Oxford resident and veteran of the First Persian Gulf War (1990-91) is a life coach to military veterans, helping them deal with issues such divorce, unemployment, business failure and health issues.
‘One of the things that drew me to doing this was good, bad or indifferent, I’ve had a plethora of life experiences that a lot of people would perceive as negative,? Donovan said ‘But I’ve taken the position that everything happens for a reason and teaches you a lesson.?
Life coaching is a practice with the aim of helping clients determine and achieve personal goals. The practice is not targeted atpsychological illness and life coaches are neither therapists nor consultants.
Back when he was serving in the U.S. Marine Corps from 1988-92, Donovan knew he wanted to do something to help his fellow veterans.
He originally thought about renovating houses for disabled veterans. That idea eventually evolved, after a long and painful personal journey, into his current life coaching business
After he finished doing two tours in the Persian Gulf region and left the Marines, Donovan said he didn’t have the ‘bridge? he needed to get back to his civilian life and he struggled unnecessarily for too many years.
‘It’s hard to find people to connect with,? he explained. ‘When you’re in the service you have a camaraderie and then it kind of ends abruptly (when you go home).?
He joined the Marine Reserve for two years just to get some of that bond back.
Although family and friends can offer love and support, Donovan said many veterans find it difficult to talk about what happened ‘over there? with people who simply don’t have the experience ‘to completely understand what you went through.?
‘It’s kind of hard to go to your family or a buddy that’s in a college fraternity and say, ‘You know, I’m kind of having an issue. I walked through a mine field and we napalmed it and there was burning bodies everywhere.? They can’t understand that. They weren’t there. They didn’t see it.?
About six-to-eight months ago, Donovan decided to start a side business as a life coach to military veterans. He offers his services at www.militaryveteranlifecoach.com.
‘I don’t really advertise. Having the website, people kind of come to me,? he said. ‘A lot of people don’t know I do it.?
Since then, Donovan’s offered his services to ‘a couple dozen? veterans in Michigan and around the country.
‘In Michigan, I try to meet with people face to face when I can,? he said. ‘Having a website, people can email me or give me a call, and we go from there.?
Many of the veterans he’s talked with are reservists who are having trouble due to the poor economy.
‘They were living a normal life, then they got called to duty as a reservist and their family lost income,? Donovan explained. ‘They’ve come back, tried to reclaim a job, but the jobs that they were doing before aren’t there.?
Donovan always reminds veterans they ‘can’t live in the past? and they have to accept things ‘you can’t change.?
‘One of the things I say to them all the time is ‘the past is history, the future’s a mystery but the present’s a gift,? he said. ? If you live in the past, you’re just going to keep reliving things and you’re going to get more frustrated and upset.?
Donovan said he tries to ‘redirect people back to today,? which means learning from, not dwelling on, the past and making a concerted effort to move forward each day.
Besides helping others, Donovan’s business is also a form of self-therapy.
‘In a way, it’s kind of a healing thing for me,? he explained. ‘As a veteran, I see some of the struggles the guys are going through and I was feeling the same thing back then. Now I know, it wasn’t just me, we all have a common bond, a common experience.?
Veterans returning from Iraq and Afghanistan can look to Donovan’s own life as proof there’s light at the end of the tunnel. For him, that light is his children ? 9-year-old Jacob and 8-year-old Alyssa, both of whom attend Oxford Elementary School.
‘It doesn’t get much better than coaching flag football and seeing your kid catch a pass,? Donovan. ‘Or dance on the stage with your daughter at a dance recital.?
When he’s not busy doing his life coaching, working construction or selling insurance, Donovan finds time to coach for the Oxford Recreational Baseball Association and the Oxford Twp. Parks and Rec. flag football program. He’s also a Cub Scout den leader for Oxford Pack 366.