Sign, sign, everywhere a sign

For years, spectators at professional sporting events have been exposed to advertising at various stadiums and arenas.
Signs promoting beer, pizza, automobiles, etc. are familiar sights in end zones and outfields across the country.
Never one to pass up a good money-making opportunity, the Oxford Township Parks and Recreation Department is doing the same thing in Seymour Lake Park.
For $1,200 each, local businesses can purchase a 4-foot-by-8-foot sign to be displayed along the outfield fence surrounding any one of the park’s four softball fields.
‘It’s been a pretty good deal for the people that are advertising,? said Parks Superintendent Jeff Kinasz.
Each sign stays up for two years. After that, the business can either renew its contract for another two years at a cost of a little over $600 or keep their sign and use it someplace other than the park.
Between the four fields, there’s room for about 120 signs. The park currently has 40 on display, which leaves room for another 80 or so. ‘We’d like to fill all four softball fields,? Kinasz said.
The signs are custom-made by the Oxford-based Tool Sport & Sign, located at 1060 S. Lapeer Rd. ‘We’re trying to do as much locally as we can,? Kinasz said.
Each sign costs $600 to make, leaving a $600 profit for the parks and rec. department, which uses the money for everything from building projects to helping fund special events.
‘It goes into the general budget and then we tap into it when we need it,? Kinasz explained. ‘Whatever we do out here, it helps offset the cost.?
The department is willing to give certain businesses a discount on the sign price in exchange for supplies or services.
‘It works out for both of us that way,? Kinasz said.
So far, advertisers have been pleased with the response they’ve received.
‘A lot of people are doing well with them out here,? Kinasz said.
For instance, downtown Oxford’s ‘Wiches has a sign informing spectators that the sandwich shop delivers to games.
‘We constantly have their vehicles in here delivering sandwiches to people,? Kinasz said.
Should a sign get defaced or damaged, the advertiser is not expected to pay for its repair or replacement.
‘We’re responsible for any vandalism that happens to the sign,? Kinasz said. ‘If some kids spray paint it, it would come out of our end of the deal ? that way they’re not out.?
Those interested in purchasing advertising space at Seymour Lake Township Park are encouraged to call either the parks and rec. department at (248) 628-1720 or Dave Osstyn at (248) 953-8011.

Sign, sign, everywhere a sign added by CJ Carnacchio on January 26, 2011
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When I was a wee bit younger than I am now, I used to shake my head with sadness or shake my fists in anger — I used to get upset at the sheer volume of signs screwing up our roadsides.
When I was too young to drive, back before seat belts were mandatory and the windows in the back seat could be rolled all the way down, I used to stick out my arm and pretend my hand was a big shovel. When I came to a road sign I didn’t like, I’d dip my fingers down and flip ’em back up — thus digging up said sign.
Some years later, license in pocket, whenever I would tool up M-15 and enter Goodrich Village, I would daydream about midnight commando raids. Raids where those two wooden billboards that sit on the banks of a winding creek are taken out with chain saws.
But that was then, back in my irrational days. Back when I had nothing else to do but get cranky at things which I had no control over. That those billboards ruin the scenic beauty is of no consequence to me. It is not my property, therefore not my problem. My problems are trying to pay my taxes, raising sturdy, honest boys.
That said, there are lots o’signs dotting our highways and byways. Nowadays, instead of daydreaming about sign demolition I just count. For example, a six-mile drive west on Oakwood Road, from M-24 in Oxford resulted in a 192 sign count — that’s like 32 signs per mile on a road that is, for the most part, residential, wetlands and farmland. (Of course I did not include any of those green address signs.)
And, since wife Jen calls me ‘the king of cliche,? I say, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. It would seem sign making could be a good business investment — if I could weasel my way into a government gig with a nice fat contract. It bears investigating.
* * *
Our signs here in Michigan are, well, boring. We need new signage. Signs that say something. Signs that tug on the heartstrings and signs that can make you smile. Don’t get me wrong, Michigan signs are effective. In construction zones, signs that say, ‘Kill, injure or even get close to one of our workers and the state will open a can of whoop you know what on you,? get right to the point.
But, for the most part our signs are just . . . blah. The most interesting signs we have are those yellow caution ones with the mother duck being followed by her ducklings. I think the most ridiculous sign is the yellow caution one I see in Davisburg — the one with the little farmer (complete with 10-gallon straw hat) sitting up on his tractor. How many farmers these days (or ever) wear 10-gallon straw hats?
While driving in Pennsylvania, a construction-zone sign caught my attention. It was brown and written in childlike scrawl were these words in white: Please drive safely, my mommy works here.
After typing that I have changed my mind, Michigan doesn’t need any sentimental crap on signage — it’s sounds too whimpy. Maybe we should stick to, to the point verbiage: Break a worker’s arm and Guido will break yours.
* * *
I was e-mailed pictures of signs found north of the border. The sender typed in the subject: Why Canada is Great.
* A sign in North Vancouver states: Attention Dog Guardians: Pick up after your dogs. Thank you. Attention Dogs: Grrrr, bark, woof. Good dog.
* A billboard for a Saskatoon restaurant shows a scenic picture of a majestic moose near shimmering water with these words: There’s plenty of room for all God’s creatures — right next to the mashed potatoes.
* A sign in a Canadian drinking establishment: Do not drop cigarette ends on the floor as they burn the hands and knees of customers when they leave.
* Same bar, different sign: NOTICE — Public Bar. Our public bar is presently not open because it is closed. Manager.
* At a self-serve gas station the cost for a liter of regular was: Arm; for Plus: Leg and for Premium: First Born.
* And, finally out by a beach somewhere there’s a big yellow sign with big black letters. CAUTION: This sign has SHARP EDGES. Do Not touch the edge of this sign — also, the bridge is out ahead.

Sign, sign everywhere a sign added by Don Rush on October 14, 2009
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