Crappy New Year!

Some where, a l-o-o-o-o-o-ng time ago an old-timer said something like this (and I prefer to picture and can hear the old-timer as character actor Walter Brennan — in particular as the cantankerous, game-legged jailkeeper, Stumpy, in the John Wayne movie, Rio Bravo. You can pick your own favorite old-timer to make the quote more poignant to you). What’s the old saying?
Once you’ve fallen so far and hit the bottom, the only place to go is up.
I think the saying was a way to brighten the downtrodden’s day. A chippy little diddy to give hope.
The old-timer obviously hadn’t envisioned new technological advancements in regards to suckatoods — it’s called a shovel. Anybody can fall further into suckatoodness so long as they have a shovel and keep digging.
And that reminds me of the Year of Our Lord, 2008. In a word, it sucked. In two words, it really sucked. Oh, I am sure there were good things that happened in 2008. I know folks fell in love, got married and had babies — all wonderful things.
I know, I know — it sounds like I’m a hater. My cheer isn’t, ?2008, the year I hate! Kick it in the shin, punch it in the nose, run out the year, let’s go, go go!?
I really don’t hate 2008. What is there to hate? I mean it’s not like the stock market crashed. We never paid $4 for a gallon of gas. Tens of thousands of people didn’t lose their homes to foreclosures. One in ten people in Michigan are not unemployed. People and jobs are not leaving the state like rats from a sinking ship. Home values have not fallen. Taxes have not gone up and neither has inflation.
The Detroit Lions professional football team (and I use that term ‘professional? only because they get paid to play) didn’t boldly go where no other team had gone by losing 16 games and wining zero. The Detroit Tigers don’t finish last in their division. The Michigan Wolverines didn’t implode on the gridiron.
The South doesn’t hate the north. Government officials and elected types don’t treat each other with contempt and disrespect. (What am I saying? In the previous sentence, for the word ‘each,? insert the word ‘all?). And, we the people, don’t feel the same way about the government and elected types.
Daily newspapers are not getting rid of the paper part of their names.
Israelis and the Palestinians don’t hate each other and are not killing each other. Thousands have not died in Iraq. The Taliban doesn’t hate women’s rights and, in general, all things American. Russia didn’t claim the North Pole as their territory, nor did they invade the smaller, neighboring country of Georgia.
And we didn’t find out Joe the Plumber is not really a plumber.
No, there isn’t a single reason to hate 2008.
But, I learned long ago, if you can’t say something nice about somebody, don’t say anything at all. So, I will not say anything bad about 2008. As fired Detroit Lions coach Rod Marinelli said, ‘The record speaks for itself.?
Let’s just bury 2008 and mutter a few nice words over its grave: Crap Happened.
* * *
I am glad that is out of my system. It’s been a long time in the making. I don’t know about (or care about) what you feel, but I feel better ‘sharing? with you.
So with that, and in accordance to my credo of always having a happy ending, let’s look to 2009.
In 2009, we as a community will come together. We will rely more on ourselves and renew our relationship with neighbors. We will shop locally.
We will take the time to notice the nice gestures of family, friends and complete strangers. We will take time to smell the proverbial coffee, and raise beautiful, fragrant and bountiful gardens. We will listen to the birds and the bees and watch the trees sway in the breeze.
We will smile more, laugh more, hug more, love more.
Our spiritual awareness will be rekindled. In short, we will not whine in 2009.

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