I think we Americans are spoiled wienies.
Me, me, me. That’s all we think about. We are preoccupied with self. Ourself, that is. (Not me, of course. I transcend ‘myself,? thusly abdicating all responsibilities to other selves — maybe you. Is that selfish?)
I started to think of this just the other decade and my conclusions were reinforced this year. Come on, instead of us being happy somebody is making money, we moan that we haven’t got enough. Instead of us smiling proudly that we helped, say ExxonMobil make $8.4 billion in profits the first three months of 2008, we complain.
‘Four dollars and eight cents a gallon? That’s crap!? we moan to anybody nearby (as if they give a tinker’s damn, cuz they’re Americans, too).
And then, with lips a-quiver and pouted out, we gripe that gas prices have dipped below $2.60 a gallon (as they did last week in Oxford), instead of smiling at the break we’re getting.
I have heard you vain Americans.
‘It’s all a conspiracy. I knew at the beginning of the year prices would go down as the Presidential Election drew closer. It’ll go back up as soon as the votes are tallied.?
Or . . .
‘Gee, I hate it that I am feeling good about $2.59 a gallon gas.?
Why can’t we just take it as a positive and move forward? Oh, I forgot: Americans are the overindulged ones. We always have a reason to grumble. We are selfish to the core.
We just look out for ourselves. We don’t care about the poor gas station owner who makes little profit, puts up with our squawking AND since prices soared remarkably high, has not been able to sell the good stuff — the 93 on up octane stuff. The stuff they can make more profit on.
Have you noticed the pumps which dispense petrol from the tank below ground to your vehicle? I have, and I have noticed that nearly all the buttons for the cheap stuff (87 octane and below) are worn out (see picture). Are they wearing out from normal use or because we Americans are mad as hell and we’re not gonna? take it anymore so we take it out on the poor 87 octane button?
Know how much it costs to replace that pad? Of course you don’t, but I do and you will . . . I called J. Graft & Associates in a little town my ancestors founded thousands and thousands of years ago, Rush City, Minnesota (and why we left, I’ll never know). J. Graft & Associates deals in gas dispensing merchandise. I talked to one of Rushdom’s serfs, Jessie, and asked him how much it would cost to replace the little plastic 87 button pad thingy.
Like most folks in the Kingdom of Rush, they’re smart and quick. He understood what I was asking (even though I didn’t).
‘Couple hundred bucks. All depends. There are different types,? said he.
A couple hundred bucks. Do you know who will have to pay Jessie and company to make those repairs — the gas station owner, that’s who. Do you even care? I bet you don’t even feel guilty about using the 87 button thingy too much, do you?
Would you even consider giving the owner some of that spare change you found in his parking lot to help cover his expenses?
No, because you’re an American and we Americans are not magnanimous. All we do is fuss and take for granted that at least air is free.
Well, upon further introspection, that ain’t true, either. The last time I put some air in my tire it cost me 50 cents.
Maybe we Americans do have a beef. Hmm?
Comments about this column can be directed to Don Rush, via dontrushmedon@charter.net