Reporters are schooled to ask questions, with the most fundamental being, who, what why, where, when and how. Or as we in the trade say, ‘The Five Ws and an H.?
When I was a younger man — scratch that, when I was a child — I used to ask a lot of ‘why? questions. Why is the sky blue? Why is grass green? Now that I am not such a young man, older in years longer than I was younger in years, I still ask a lot of questions. Rather than ‘why? I ask more ‘what? type questions.
* * *
Last week, when we received about four inches of snow, I was in The Clarkston News? parking lot cleaning the ice and snow off my vehicle. Scrape, scrape, scrape. Brush, brush, brush. I looked over and saw a woman outside her minivan, doing the same thing I was doing — only to her vehicle. Ever trying to engage folks in conversation (whether I know ’em or not), I started in.
‘I’ve had this scraper since 1996,? I proclaimed, maybe a bit over zealously.
She looked, smiled, quickly finished her chores and soon she and her minivan were gone from sight. Hmm?
What does that mean?
Not the fact I scared her away. I get that. Society today does not smile kindly on strange men starting up conversations with members of the opposite sex in the middle of parking lots. It’s a faux pas.
(Note to self: When in parking lot alone with women you don’t know, zip it.)
No, I am pondering the meaning of what does it mean that I have had this stupid ice scraper snow brush thingy since 1996?
I have had this scraper through my years with a Jeep Wrangler, Saturn Station Wagon, GMC Sonoma and four years driving a Ford Escape.
This snow scraper-brush thingy is older than my oldest son, Shamus, who just had his 17th birthday this week. (Happy birthday, Son!)
My relationship with this scraper has lasted longer than my marriage.
I remember where I purchased my ice scraper brush thingy. It was about this time of year, 1996. It must have been snowing. I went to the Ace Hardware in Oxford — back when it was still downtown, next to the park and operated by Sonny Grove and his family. It was so new then. Now, it’s plastic blue brush bristles are all smushed over after 18 winters of pushing snow off my many vehicles.
In 1996, dial-up home internet access was all the rage. Bill Clinton was still in the White House and had yet to be impeached for perjury and obstruction of justice.
In 1996, baseball owners voted to start interleague play starting with the 1997 season.
According to HistoryOrb.com, in 1996, the first version of the Java programming language was released (and those of us with PC’s have been receiving updates since); Bill Belichick was fired by the Cleveland Browns football team (which worked out good for Belichick and New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady — they have won three SuperBowls together); the first surface photos of Pluto (photographed by Hubble Space Telescope) are released; the Brits announced, ‘yep, Mad Cow Disease can be caught by people, too.?
Other memorable events from 1996, Ted Kaczynski, suspected of being the Unabomber, is indicted on ten criminal counts; and the Oakland, California school board passes a resolution officially declaring ‘Ebonics? a language or dialect.
And, I bought an ice scraper snow brush thingy that, 18 winters later I still have and try to bring up said fact, in conversation. So, what does it mean?
What would the ancient great thinkers like Socrates, Aristole or Plato surmise if they pondered that question? They might say something like, ‘If life is the pursuit of happiness and peace, and if this ice scraper snow brusher thingy makes you happy, brings you peace, then you have achieved your means.?
To which I would ask, ‘What?? And, then quip, ‘What you said is all Greek to me.?
Newer-aged thinkers like Ben Franklin might suggest, ‘As a penny saved is a penny earned, so too is an ice scraper snow brusher well maintained a good investment.?
Hmm?
Some new-aged, dawn of Aquarius, metaphysical thinkers from Sedona, Arizona might suggest I have problem with ‘letting go.?
Now that I have asked and looked inside myself for the answer, what do you think? Quick write it down!
Here’s what I think: Don Rush is cheap. What’s your answer?
E-mail, Don@ShermanPublications.org