Competition brings out the worst in parents

‘Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.?
‘Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sports.
They can bring out the best in athletes and the worst in parents.
This statement was proved correct to me once more at the Mid-Michigan Wrestling Association’s state finals held at Oxford High School last weekend.
Hundreds and hundreds of boys and yes, even a few girls, aged five to 14 from all over the state took to the mats to prove their wrestling skills at the day-long event.
I wasn’t there to cheer for any one individual, I was there to take photos, and being a photographer you tend to observe your surroundings more than usual.
I have to say I was totally disgusted and appalled at what my ears picked up amongst the crowd in the sweltering gymnasium.
Parents, grandparents, aunts and cousins were screaming at the top of their lungs from the stands.
But they weren’t cheering on the young ones in an encouraging way, their tone was very angry and fierce.
Countless times during the day I saw kids wrestling their opponents with tears streaming down their flushed faces, and continued to cry as they left the mat.
Are these kids sore losers or have they been pushed too far by their parents?
One wrestler, as I remember, had his father as a coach. He too, fought through the tears as his coach screamed at him during the match.
When the match was finished and the boy had lost, the coach threw a towel at him to wipe his tears.
It reminded me of the comedic scene in the movie A League of Their Own when Tom Hank’s character states ‘there’s no crying in baseball.?
But this was anything but comedic.
The incident that infuriated me the most was when an older wrestler’s parents kept shouting at him to do this and that.
He stopped during his match and, yelling through his tears, told them to ‘shut the heck up, I know what I have to do.? He did this twice before leaving the mat.
As he left the mat, I overheard his father saying the boy was ‘an embarrassment to himself and his parents.?
Way to go, Ward Cleaver.
What great words of encouragement.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m totally for cheering on your kid to do their best and to be encouraging during the hard losses, but to yell at them like they’re some animal?
Give me a break.
It’s a sport. It’s supposed to be fun.
Kids have their whole lives to be a part of sports teams and competitions. Let them enjoy it and don’t try to live vicariously through them.
I did see some positive displays of parenting on behalf of some, though.
There were a lot of hugs, high-fives and ‘I’m so proud of you’s,? but I think this is one instance where the bad can outweigh the good.
For those of you who might think I’m trashing wrestling, I’m not.
This goes for every sport, whether it be baseball, football or basketball.
Even stage parents can push their kids too far.
If your child doesn’t place first or shoot the winning basket during a game, so what?
The key is to praise them for doing their best because that’s all you can ask of them.
E-mail your thoughts to shermanpub@aol.com.

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