Editor’s Note: Enjoy this Jim’s Jotting’s classic from 2007. But if it makes you want to pee, don’t blame us.
The extent to which our governments will go to save our lives reached a goal never envisioned by the taxpaying public.
While many people haven’t accepted being made to buckle up, and several fight forced-helmet wearing, and opposition is high on roll-over bars on garden tractors, few of us have been exposed to the advising urinal.
This only applies to men — until one of our governments force sellers of libations to supply a like facility for women.
Right now, to my knowledge, only New Mexico is supplying these lecturing, motion sensitive plastic devices.
Seems New Mexico has long had one of the highest rates of alcohol-related traffic deaths in the nation. So, Gov. Bill Richardson got the legislature to buy 500 talking urinal deodorizing cakes at $21 each.
In N.M., men account for 78 percent of all driving under the influence related convictions.
The aim is to advise drunks at the last place they usually stop before getting behind the wheel. Now when that pre-car-starting urge happens, a guy hears in a woman’s voice, “Hey, big guy. Having a few drinks? Think you had one too many? Then it’s time to call a cab or call a sober friend for a ride home.”
The message ends, “Remember, the future is in your hand!”
This takes 10 to 15 seconds. That state’s spokesman said the bathroom is a perfect place to get the message across because, “guys don’t chitchat with other guys. It’s all business.”
Similar talking cakes have been used in Colorado, Pennsylvania, Australia and Long Island for antidrug and DWI controls, said the developer, Healthquest Technologies, Inc.
As mentioned above, this discriminating against women, not being privileged to a conventional urinal, is bound to excite the inventive imagination of plumbers, etc.
The nation needs these for all adults and children, as not just a warning, but as a teaching tool and a reminder.
The husband’s urinal can have a cake that says, “Remember, sweety, to kiss your wife good morning.”
The wife’s, “Today is bridge day, tomorrow golf. Take-outs are healthy. You can launder later.”
The kid’s, “Did you do your homework, brush and floss?”
In reviewing this Associated Press article with our MSU senior grandson, Dan, he, like all those smarter-than-my-parents-and-grandparents, kids, thought he could top Gramps.
Then he told about this too-frequented bar in East Lansing where the urinal is a funnel. For a quarter it can be a challenge piece for those overburdened with studies students.
The piece weights output.
I’m sure the future medical students enter the game only to observe the affect heavy indulgence has on the bladder.
By now you’ve got the idea. Up and down the bar goes the challenge. “I bet my next trip will outweigh yours by 36 ounces!”
“Wimp! I’ll do 40 without even pressing!”
Move forward now to when sensitized talking cakes are added.
A mother’s voice will say, “Son, if you’d put as much time into your studies as you do overfilling your bladder, you could graduate in four years instead of your current schedule of nine years. Please tell me you won the bet.”